Disgruntles Attract

When students in my youth group each grabbed their inner tubes and jumped into a river, it only took minutes before they all drifted together into an interlocking rubber blob on top of the water. It was magnetic. There was a gravitational force that drew them together.

I've noticed the same thing happens with negative people in large groups. Put out a dozen tables, and the disgruntled people will end up in the same pod. Opposites don't attract. Similars attract. 

Resentful people seek resentful people. 

Angry people find angry people. 

Bitter people attract bitter people. 

People who dislike the company/church/group are magnetically drawn to those of similar dislike. 

Gossipers find gossipers. Hostiles find hostiles. Cynics find cynics. Critics find critics. 

Toxic likes toxic. 

They band together on Facebook. They obsessively "like" each other’s posts. They "share" each other's stories. They breathe the same air and emit the same odour. 

Let me ask you a question: Who's at YOUR table, and what does that say about you? 

If everyone around you dislikes your pastor, you probably dislike your pastor. If everyone around you disapproves of the vision, you likely dislike the vision. If your friends are bullies, you're a bully too. 

Show me your squad, and I will show you your values. You are the company you keep. 

So how do you get away from a toxic blob?

You let go. 

No announcement needs to be made. No holier-than-thou speech needs to be given. No one is owed an explanation. 

Just drift. Let go and drift—no need to push off. Simply release your grip. Relax your fingers and float away. You'll be alone for a while, but eventually, you'll find another 'blob' and latch on. 

If you want to change your mindset, change your friends.